By Indigo Sky
I was barely 19 when I moved to New York City to chase the impossible dream of becoming an artist.
I believed that being successful was to have fame and millions in my bank account and to be constantly surrounded by my “squad”
I would eventually clash with my roommate for being ignorant and oblivious to the realities of life.
I was naive and I was ignorant, we disagreed on everything from music genre’s to fashion, even on how to decorate our cool & hip midtown Apartment.
I was pursuing a dance music project which annoyed the shit out of her, as she claimed it wasn’t real music, and that I sounded too nasal, and that I still haven’t found my true voice.
After the rude blow to my ego I opened up to the idea of allowing her to introduce me to “real music” ” as she would say.
She told me that the best singers are the ones that sing from their soul. From a deep place of pain and love and a pure connection to “God”.
She told me that to sing from your soul is to set your spirit free.
Wanda was my spirit guide which I couldn’t see at the time because I had barely known anything about spirituality, Buddhism, or spiritual wisdom from the ancient shamanic teachings.
In the first year or so my perception of her changed drastically, at first I thought she was crazy and I was reluctant to heed her words of wisdom and experience.
I remember coming home from my job at a busy midtown nightclub, and as soon as I’d walk thru the door, I would feel a sense pure spiritual energy and love and light.
I found her in a lotus position, singing and humming in a meditative trancelike state chanting, I remember the vibrations were so deep that I could feel it in my soul.
Despite resisting what overcame me that night, because I was always a club head and heavy into the dance scene as well as the shallow fashion scene, so as you can imagine I was very disconnected from her level of enlightenment, she was illuminated like a buddha.
Living in New York was one surreal yet never ending party full of Ecstasy, Molly, Coke, Special K, and alcohol. Along the constant invites to the hottest clubs, all of which made it extremely difficult for me to meditate yet alone find my true Inner voice and to be one “With all that there is” The one and only “God” himself.
My journey has been long, painful and discouraging, full of tragic moments, violence, loss, death, and despair.
I never found the fame and fortune that I once believed to be of importance.
I even lost the love of my life Eric to an unsolved murder ( more about that on a different post) After what seemed an eternity…at last I have found my inner peace and I have felt the Divine presence of love and light lift me up, and touch my soul.
At last I realize that with faith and trust, all wounds heal.
And to be quite honest…I feel the happiest I’ve ever felt and I’m thankful for the lessons and heartbreak that I had to endure.
Because it lead me on my Spiritual path to the Divine source of love, light, compassion and happiness which was deep inside of me all along.
* This is dedicated To Wanda*