By Indigo Sky
I pulled away from you, somehow fear got it’s tight grip over me and I let it take control.
I let you down, what was I so afraid of? You seemed to be everything I could want in a man so why am I running away? your probably asking yourself.
In my defense I felt deeply overwhelmed by the feeling that my life was about to change, and change can be very difficult to handle.
I wasted my life giving myself away to soulless people, lost in a dark place not knowing love and not having someone who genuinely cared about my spiritual wellbeing.
Sadly this has become the norm for me and so I made a promise to myself that I would never repeat the past mistakes. Perhaps it’s been too long since I let someone love me, you see I’ve built this fortress around my heart and it’s been hiding every scar.
Dear future lover, now I’m the one reaching out to you, Did I lose you? did I run away from my soul love? Could you actually be my twin flame? my heart wants to know.
Your everything I’ve been searching for, and yet the other night I closed the door.
I’ve spent the past week wondering if you are the one to share the next chapter in my life. I thought this out and I’ve come to terms with these mixed emotions and my foolish reluctance to give us a chance.
Today I find the courage to reach out to you and say that I’m sorry for letting you down. My personal issues and deep rooted fear took over and I pulled away from you. I’ve been resisting the very thing that I desperately wanted.
I tossed and turned almost every night and with each hour that passed me by, visions of you would cross my mind.
I even dreamt with you Tuesday night, was it a glimpse into our future together? I held your my face in my hands while I staring into your eyes, they were the bluest blue I had ever seen.
I felt the purest love emanating from your soul and upon awakening, it made me question everything in my life.Were you actually reaching out for me? Wondering why I pulled away so suddenly?
If you could understand the reasons why I disappeared it really just came down to fear, I feared another broken heart. You see I just recently began to pick up the pieces to my broken dreams and today I can honestly say that I’m no longer gonna let my fears hold me back.
All week long I found myself consumed with thoughts of us together and I don’t want to imagine that I ignored the sign and let love pass me by.
I can still feel your presence and I ask if you could give me another chance to see what we could be. You see my future lover I’ve had time to think this thru and I’ve come to the conclusion that the soul love I’ve been searching for resides in you.
*Dedicated to Kristof *